How to Keep the Romance Alive During COVID-19
When COVID-19 hit the world in 2020, I was just as afraid and uncertain about the future as anyone else. I worried about the health of my family and friends. There were major concerns about how our government was responding to the pandemic. I feared I would have an even more difficult time finding a stable job. On top of it all, I was really heckin’ bummed that all our plans were cancelled. Carson and I had so many special dates and now we weren’t sure how to keep the romance alive during COVID-19.
Even so, I couldn’t help but feel immense gratitude for my situation. As much as 2020 took a toll on me, I was so grateful that I got to spend it inside with Carson. I couldn’t help but think that if the pandemic had started even a year earlier, my experience would be drastically different.
In August 2017, I moved to Texas from Arizona to pursue a master’s degree. I didn’t know anyone in the city, I didn’t have a car, and I was struggling to find a part-time job that was flexible with my busy graduate student schedule. I was also very single.
With the demands of graduate school, I told myself I didn’t need the distractions dating would bring. During my last semester, I downloaded Bumble on the recommendation of my boss. Carson and I hit it off instantly and ended up chatting at a coffee shop for 6 hours before spending another 2 at our local grocery store, HEB. I was new to Texas and had never been to HEB. Carson is a software engineer for HEB and…well, you wouldn’t get the hype unless you live here but I swear it was all very romantic!
That was January 2019. We’ve since gone on several dates, moved into a one-bedroom apartment, and are very happy building a life together. But the romantic in me had a heavy heart thinking of all those people isolating alone or even worse, isolating with their abusers.
It was clear that while there were obvious health concerns because of COVID-19, there was also a very prominent social and mental health issue arising due to extended isolation. Feelings of loneliness and depression rose. Divorce rates and cases of domestic violence surged.
The way we socialize has changed. As cases spike again due to holiday travel, going out on dates has become more and more dangerous. As grateful as I am that I get to wait out this pandemic with Carson, staying inside a one-bedroom apartment for months on end isn’t all sunshine and rainbows.
After graduating in May of 2019, I struggled to find a full-time career-type job. I told myself that it was normal for the job-hunt to take a while. On average, recent graduates take six months to find a job after graduating. It was still hard to go in for interview after interview just to be rejected yet again.
Unfortunately, finding a job was proving to take longer than six months. I am eternally grateful for Carson for supporting me and always encouraging me to hold out for my dream job. Even with all his support, I knew I needed to work for my sanity. I finally settled on a part-time job as a painting assistant for a local wine and paint business that was flexible.
I loved working there. Getting my hands dirty with paint, the coworkers, and the customers were all great! People from all walks of life were coming in for dates, team building events, bachelorette parties. You name it, we hosted it. I was finally starting to get into the groove when, I shit you not, three weeks later, I received an email that I would be laid off because of COVID-19.
Now, we’re fortunate that Carson was able to keep his job and work from home, but it was a big slap in the face to be out of work so soon after being hired. It was hard to feel romantic when it seemed like the world was on fire all around you and you’re staring at the same four walls.
How do you keep the romance alive during the COVID-19 pandemic?
How do you go on “dates” when you can’t leave your home? When you’ve been wearing the same sweatpants for a week, how do you make someone swoon ?
In all honesty, this wasn’t something in the forefront of my mind when all these orders and restrictions were put into place. I was too preoccupied with finding eggs and hand sanitizer to think of creative ways to spice up our relationship.
It wasn’t until my birthday rounded the corner that I started to feel a bit down. We originally had plans to go to Las Vegas to visit Carson’s grandmother and see a Cirque Du Soleil show for my birthday. Obviously, we decided to cancel that trip since his grandmother is elderly and immunocompromised.
I thought, “That’s okay, I’ll have a great birthday in San Antonio.” Carson surprised me with tickets to an Ali Wong show, but then that was also cancelled. Being the optimist that I am, I told Carson I just wanted to go for Korean BBQ for my birthday dinner, but then all the restaurants and bars quickly closed down after that. Before this, Carson purchased memberships to the San Antonio Botanical Gardens he planned on giving me for my birthday. When we checked their website, they said they’d be closed until further notice. It was just one more reminder that we couldn’t go OUT on dates anymore.
So I had myself a little cry. I broke down playing a game of Magic the Gathering with Carson the morning of my birthday. Something about losing my third game in a row, on my already ruined birthday just set me off.
I’m not one to wallow for too long though and I wasn’t going to let coronavirus ruin my birthday. I told Carson that I still wanted to do something special even though we couldn’t go out OUT for my birthday. So I suggested we get really drunk and do each other’s makeup and film it like a makeup tutorial. There was a lot of laughter and alcohol involved.
I decided to share the videos on my Instagram and I got several messages from friends and family saying how much they appreciated the laughter on their feed. I think everyone was feeling the heavy weight of the pandemic and it was nice to share something so lighthearted and silly.
What started off as a disappointing quarantine birthday, turned into something great. We did something that we’ve never done before and it felt like a date. I really started to think about how blessed I am to be stuck inside with someone I love and have fun doing anything with.
Why not do things we’ve never thought to do before or have always wanted to do. We definitely had the time. So here’s a list of safe date ideas to keep the romanic alive during the COVID-19 pandemic that Carson and I have enjoyed. You can try these with your partner (assuming you two live in the same household or have taken the proper precautions).
15 ROMANTIC AND SAFE DATES IDEAS
At Home Karaoke Night!
The app Singing Machine is a great app that Carson and I have used for karaoke. They have a good song selection and visuals that makes it feel like you’re really at karaoke. Mix yourself a drink, throw on a show outfit, and grab yourself a “microphone” (we used a hairbrush and my face wash bottle). You’ll really feel like you’re at a bar singing to a bunch of drunk strangers. This is especially great if you’ve never tried karaoke before or have been too shy in the past.
Wine & Paint Night!
Carson and I actually celebrated our first Valentine’s Day at the very paint and wine shop I was working at before the pandemic hit! I love to paint and it was something Carson had never done before. While I definitely miss the ambiance of painting with a bunch of tipsy strangers, recreating something similar at home is pretty easy to do. You can buy acrylic paint and 16×20 canvases from Michael’s and follow a Bob Ross video. Or even better, check in with your local paint and wine location for your paint supplies and tutorial!
Live Stream a Concert or Music Festival!
I am beyond grateful for music. It brings me so much joy and there is just so much of it to explore. Before the pandemic shut everything down, I’d be spending summer going to music festivals, dancing the night away in a sweaty crowd of strangers.
Obviously not a great idea at the moment. Which is tragic when I think about all the amazing artists that were now out of work. I love the EDM (electronic dance music) community for putting together so many opportunities for live streaming festivals so these artists that we love can have a platform to share their work and raise money for other struggling artists.
It is a great way to discover new music too. At a typical festival, I’d get caught up catching the set of my favorite artists, I might miss out on amazing performances by artists unknown to me. Now, I can hope between tabs to catch a different “set” and I don’t have to travel across the country to catch one of my favorite artists.
Plus, it’s a great way to get more comfortable with each other and dancing. Dress up, blast music, and let loose. Carson was not a big dancer before we met. Honestly, I don’t think he had ever been to a concert before I dragged him out. But once he saw how much no one cares how silly you look (and trust me, I get kinda wild), he started to feel more comfortable moving in his body and that’s such a lovely experience to share with your partner.
Have a Picnic!
For Carson’s birthday, I wanted to do something special because he’s such an amazing boyfriend! He was handling the transition from office to home during a pandemic like such a trooper. He deserved it!
So I decided to plan a picnic at Brackenridge Park in San Antonio. It’s a beautiful nature spot with plenty of space for social distancing. We easily found a grassy area by the river and a beautiful small bridge. I probably went a bit overboard on the charcuterie board but I had fun planning and I know Carson enjoyed tasting foods he’s never had before! Plus, it felt so refreshing to sit outside and just enjoy each other’s company.
Take an Online Class Together!
I am so grateful for the internet. I couldn’t imagine having to go through this pandemic without it. I’ve taken several classes on my own to help boost my resume and keep me competitive during the job hunt. But taking a fun class with your partner is where it’s at. You two can learn to draw together, play an instrument, learn a language, the possibilities are endless!
Fancy Dinner Date at Home!
This one is simple but effective. When you’ve been wearing your comfy pants for months, it’s nice to spend some extra time getting dressed up. You’ll be able to see your partner in a new way! Order from a fancy local restaurant, set the table, play some soft music, and just enjoy each other’s company.
Read to Each Other in Nature!
Carson and I love reading out loud to each other. It started off as a way for us to both get back into reading for fun. We started reading to each other at night before sleep. It was a good way to wind down from the day. It also helps keep us from using our phones before bed which can make sleep difficult.
I know I personally fall asleep much quicker when I can focus on a soothing voice. Which can be a good and bad thing!
Typically it takes me around an hour to really doze off which can be really frustrating. So when Carson can put me to sleep with a good story, I am grateful. I also feel a bit guilty for missing out on parts of the story.
He’s done the same to me too! I’ve had to go back and reread whole pages several times. Sometimes I fear I’m not getting the full effect of the book because I’m in a sleepy space.
I thought a cute date would be to read to each other outside while we’re both awake and alert. We definitely needed to get out of the apartment and get a change of scenery.
So we grabbed our two-person hammock and found a park near us that had a lot of open space so we could properly social distance. We found a lovely spot hidden away in the trees by a small stream of water. I played some soft jazz and we read to each other in the forest. It was so magical and romantic. We encountered maybe one other couple walking a distance away so it felt very secluded and intimate.
Cuddle at the Drive-In!
Drive-Ins popped up everywhere when the pandemic first hit. What a great way to keep your distance and still feel like you’re going to the movies. Plus, you can bring your snacks and you don’t have to hide them in your purse? Yes, please! Carson and I have gone several times and we’ve always had fun cuddling in the back seat.
Learn to Dance on YouTube!
Speaking of dancing, I got Carson and myself 5 dance classes at a local ballroom. Unfortunately, we were only able to take one Intro to Waltz class before the state shut down. While getting one-on-one feedback from an instructor is invaluable, it’s also a bit nerve-wracking! There are plenty of dance tutorials online with way less pressure!
Create a Date Jar!
All you need is a container (mason jar, tin box, etc.), something to write on (paper, popsicle sticks, etc.), and something to write with! Spend some time thinking of 20-30 date ideas you’d love to go on once things start to get back to normal. You can take it a step further and decorate the jar or box. Then, when the time comes, pick one item and go on that date!
DIY Home Decor!
Carson and I aren’t the craftiest people, so don’t be discouraged when I tell you we’ve had a blast every time we’ve created our own home decor. We’ve made everything from seasonal wreaths to succulent terrariums (our succulents have now died but the terrarium is still cute) to this geometric bear string art…thing. My point is, you don’t have to be a pro to have fun decorating the home you’re spending so much time in. They don’t all have to be wins as long as you’re having fun!
Tie Dye Clothes!
What screams power couple like a matching tie dye set? I found that since the pandemic, my daily outfits rotated between the same sweatpants and yoga pants. Even Carson was wearing his sweats to his Zoom work meetings. Tie-dying some white cotton pants and a t-shirt is a great way to spice up our loungewear wardrobe!
Spa Night!
Go all out! Wear robes and slippers if you have it, light some candles, play soft music, and take turns giving each other massages. You can take it a step further and share a bubble bath together or take turns washing each other’s backs in the shower.
Casino Night!
Dress up in your fanciest clothes! Experiment with making complicated cocktails with pretty colors! You don’t even need poker chips. Just bet Oreos or another favorite treat!
Build a Pillow Fort!
Call me childish, but I love creating forts to chill in all day! We fully embrace our inner child when we’re in blanket forts. We get all the essential snacks: dinosaur nuggets, fruit snacks, goldfish snacks, and juice boxes. Then we watch shows like Steven Universe or the Dragon Prince. You can play video games or even color a coloring book. Anything goes in the fort.
Carson and I have so many more date ideas we’re excited to try. The COVID-19 pandemic has lasted longer than we’ve hoped for but I’m happy to say we’ve managed to keep the romance alive. Remember to engage in self-care during this difficult time. It’s hard to pour from an empty cup so make sure you’re showing up for yourself so you can show up for others!
Thank you for sharing — I feel as though I really got to know you and your partner through this post! And the date ideas (and the pictures!) were delightful.